Saturday, August 11, 2007

3

A whole rain of signs
falls. And by morning--sunshine.
Avoid such places.

1 comment:

snezana said...

This is the translation of the opening of the poem "Ostaci o plivanju" ("Remains about Swimming") by former Yugoslav poet Slobodan Tisma:
"Citava kisa znakova padne
i do jutra
sija sunce
On se kloni takvih mesta"
I translated the above lines almost directly. The only thing is that, for the last line, instead of "He avoids such places" I put the directive "Avoid such places." I feel that the directive sounds better for our renga. The final result is a verse that actually follows the 5+7+5 syllable count, which my verses never do. And I didn't plan it that way: the original of course has many more syllables, but the English translation magically fit the prescribed count.